Off to See the Wizard 1 is the first encounter in Mushroom Magic
Enemies[]
- Bernard the Beardless (1105 gold, 136 XP, 85 Energy, 5 HP Normal)
Transcript[]
Introduction[]
Was that chasm always there?
You gaze into its glowing yellow depths and ponder this question. But try as you might, you don't recall ever seeing it before. And that magma... No. An upwards glance shows a distant night sky, the moon shining in silver brilliance amid a sprinkling of stars. You're not underground. It's lava.
The mental correction pleases you more than it should.
In any event, this lava is strange. For a start, it's bright yellow. Secondly, it smells of... honey? Peculiar. You're sure you would have remembered honey-lava if you'd ever encountered it before.
Nor do those giant statues carved into the sides of the canyon look familiar. As for the fact that you appear to be standing on one of several floating islands, bodies of rock suspended in the empty air... No, not familiar at all.
You frown. Weren't you somewhere else before? Somewhere less absurd? Yes... You're fairly certain that you were.
Perhaps this person up ahead can tell you where you are...
"Excuse me, lady dwarf," you say, "I-"
"You think that's funny?" the dwarf yells, in a decidedly male voice.
Oh... From his short, broad-shouldered physique, the style of his armor, and the rather large battleaxe he's holding, you recognize that he was a Stonebound. And given that their males always wear substantial beards, whereas this one's chin and cheeks are as smooth as those of a newborn child...
"Forgive me! I was... mistaken. Perhaps it was all the ale," you say, in the hope of appealing to the Stonebound dwarves' famous love of drink and stoic acceptance of its consequences.
"I'll kill you!" he cries.
The dwarf charges, his axe raised over his head. Its blade gleams liver in the moonlight.
Conclusion[]
"I'll kill you!" the dwarf yells.
However, since he's lying face-down in the turquoise grass, you need pressing into his back and pinning him down, the threat now carries little weight.
"Look, I apologize," you say. "It was an honest mistake and I meant now disrespect. It's really nothing to cleave someone over."
The dwarf grunts.
"Easy for you to say. You haven't spent your whole damned life getting made fun of because you can't grow a beard."
But he stops struggling. You remove your knee and let him up, keeping a wary gaze on his axe.
"Sorry," he says at last. "Temper got the best of me. I'm glad I didn't kill you."
"So am I. Now, where-"
"I'm going to see the wizard."
"The wizard?"
"The wizard," he says, as though the words explained everything. "I'm going to ask him for a beard."
"He makes beards?"
The word 'barbomancer' pops into your head, but you're fairly certain you've just made it up.
"No. But he can magic one up. They say he can do anything." The dwarf turns around and points with a thick finger. "That's his castle. Over there."
A suitably arcane bastion stands on one of the distant floating islands, a castle surrounded with whirling expanses of colorful lights that could only be the work of sorcery.
"Maybe this wizard can show me a way out of this land," you muse. "I'll go with you."
The dwarf shrugs his big shoulders.
"If you want. The name's Bernard, by the way."